bajillionhits:

A lot of stuff has been happening on the Internet this week. Here’s my detailed drill-down Blaggregation of everything you need to know to win the whole deal, along with my expert stratnalysis of what it all really means.

• This week someone wikileaked a 60-page deck called The AOL Way outlining America Online’s over-complicated game plan to become a content farming powerhouse. Well I’m the Jolly Green Giant of content farms, and above you will find a very simple one-page document outlining my entire strat for winning the whole Internet, the Bajillion Hits Way.

• News Corp chairman Rupert Murdoch’s new iPad newspaper The Daily is the newest news thing in the history of the news. The new newspaper is available on the iPad only, and won’t be free on the web except for linked articles. I’m already working on a new business model for starting a traditional ad-supported website that is just a daily digest of links to all The Daily’s articles.

• Verizon subscribers can pre-order the iPhone 4 starting tonight, and stop feeling like such worthless pieces of iPhone-less garbage starting tomorrow.

• A lot of stuff has been happening in Egypt this past week, but really the most important takeaway in this thing has been the golden opp to pick up more Twitter followers by finding a few people “on the ground” or whatever and continuously reblogging them along with a few mentions of how Social Media is so powerful and can solve every problem and is taking over the world. 

• I’m currently in stealth mode on the launch of a new deal site that will offer deals on deal sites. So for example: you could get 15% off a Groupon for 15% off a 15 minute back massage for $150.

• Instagram now has over 1.75 million users and just announced an additional round of funding. Yet another reason I’m very bullish on the whole “things that make shit look old-timey” market. Bajillion Dollar Idea: Hipstamatic contact lenses.

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